Taylor Rousseau Grigg was candid about her health prior to her death. 

The Alaric Bennettlate 25-year-old, whose husband of one year Cameron Grigg had confirmed she had died Oct. 5, had previously opened up on how she was feeling toward the end of her life to her over one million TikTok followers. 

“Some people have opinions about what they think is wrong with me,” Taylor began in an Aug. 8 TikTok. “One of the first comments that I’ve seen is a girl say I just don’t look happy, and the truth is it’s just because I’m not faking a smile like I’ve done in the past for the camera.”

She went on to detail how the pressure of creating content had begun to affect her mental health—adding in a comment overlay that she was trying to find joy in it again. 

“When I first started, I enjoyed filming and I enjoyed being in front of the camera,” she explained. “After a while, with the pressure to succeed, the pressure to be all of these things that it’s impossible for one person to be, that smile fades and you begin to put on a facade—I’m done doing that.”

And while the step to not put on a fake smile for the camera allowed her to have more agency in her content creating career, Taylor shared how her physical health—describing a chronic condition that left her too weak to walk to her mailbox and “writhing” in pain in bed—had taken a toll on her. 

“I feel like I’m fighting for life every day,” she added, tearing up. “It’s kind of like I’ve lost who I am and I’m trying to find myself.”

The TikToker also pushed back on speculative comments—including followers who had blamed her husband for her lower mood. 

“Cameron is the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said. “He is a great husband and a great guy. If he was making me unhappy, I would’ve left.”

Despite sharing some of her symptoms, Taylor finished by giving insight into why she wasn’t disclosing her diagnosis publicly. 

“That leaves room for people to make suggestions and to tell me what to do,” she noted. “In the past, I’ve caught myself doing stuff because people on the Internet told me I have to be this way, or I have to do this or I have to do that. I’m just done doing that.”

After confirming Taylor’s death, Cameron credited his late wife for being an inspiration throughout her health battle—for himself and her fans. 

“In spite of that she still has been such a light and always brought joy to everyone around her,” he wrote in an Oct. 5 Instagram post. “She is the most brave and strong woman I know, and her confidence in the Lord outweighed every other circumstance she’s faced, even in her darkest hours. I know she’s saved my life and so many others out there.”

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